Chiqui Sings at Niagara on the Lake’s Spring Event
Hello? Can you hear me now?
How about now?
Now? ^_^ Well hello there and welcome back!
Sweet Success. We all want it: success in our family life and in our careers. We make goals: physical, mental, spiritual and everything in between. We may very well achieve every goal we set for ourselves. By the age of 28, I did. Or so I thought.
The missing link is literally just that: The LINKs. I was missing the connection.
You see, embarrassing as it is to admit, I understood success all wrong. I’ve learned the solo style, lone ranger version. Long story short, it’s shitty and sad and downright dark and depressing because it’s so damn hollow, like the inside of a rusty old drum.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, I was blinded by the bling-y version life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going for the bling. You want bling? You go get it, darling! Except that you cannot be happy and I mean truly happy when you succeed and play with all this bling alone.
Sweet Connection. Do you like sweets? Me, too. Here, I’ll give you life’s desserts with a cherry on top: There are people who are willing, able and actually want to support and help passionate and committed you. I’ve learned, later than sooner, that we must receive this help graciously because in bringing others in, we are helping them too!
To be clear, I am not talking about paid help. Not hired assistants, employees nor managers. I am referring to folk who will sit with you when you’re feeling drained and overwhelmed and confused. (Read: dramatic and suicidal.) Friends who will hold your hand and hug you and sometimes give you the much-needed batok when you’re in your level 7.2 bitch-mode. Folks who will continue to love you even if you’re crying and whining like a fx#8ing baby because you had to bite off more than you can chew.
“You’re so afraid to take a bite off more than you can chew. Don’t be afraid, you won’t have teeth, when you reach ninety two.” – Doris Day, ENJOY YOURSELF (It’s Later Than You Think)
The Other Side of The Sweet. I belong to the Just Smile Sweetly generation. You know, the one where when things are bad, your folks tell you to just ‘grin and bear it’. When things get worse, well, Just Add Syrup. This made for a lot of very confusing and painful emotions growing up. I’ve learned that we need to take the bitter with the sweet by not denying that it exists. Too much candy’s not good for you anyway. We take the good with the bad. Hiding the bad behind a goody-two-shoe persona and a perfectly painted, albeit fake, scenario never works. Not in the long term, anyway. (See Brené Brown’s TEDTalk on Vulnerabilty)
What works for me is this thing called allowing for more openness. Quite hard for one hardwired to keep it all in, lock it all up and throw away the key. But I’ve proven, time and again, that keeping it all in makes for some very ugly implosions.
Word of caution though: Be discerning about whom to open up to. It takes smarts – both from the head and heart – to choose whom to share life’s ups and downs with. It’s not that hard to find them. The right people, your peeps, are all around you. If you look with your heart. For those of us who were trained in the more left-brain leaning, logic-filled reasoning, this isn’t more challenging. I had to go through so much reprogramming in this regard. Here’s my solemn promise though: Trust your heart and the right people will show themselves to you. If not right away, sooner than later. Trust in that.
At this point in my blessed life, with all its ups and downs, I can honestly say I’ve found my peeps. Funny thing is that they’ve been there all along! Friends from way back nursery who I can count on any time, any season, I know they’ll be there for me and I for them. Family, oh blessed family, most who I took forgranted during the bling-y years – sorry for my momentary blindness and thank you for your patience with me!
It’s been almost two decades of pig-headedness slowly unlearning the bad habits: holding back/off/away. I’m just back from a full month and a half of playing the diva dervish, and yes, enjoying some of the bling that life brings, and here I am sharing my adventures with family and friends. Some days were divinely delightful. Other days completely damned and drama-ridden. Overall, a flipping WIN-filled last quarter of 2013! Being able to share it with my most trusted and beloved connections is the best feeling ever!
Courage in Connected Creativity,
My New Beginning…
Don’t you just love plane rides?! I do, I do!
There’s just something about subsonic speed and being 30,000 feet up in the air, hurtling through the clouds that makes writing more exciting and grand.
So here I am!
Joy is our producer, Ms Gigi Borromeo’s cousin. We’re a couple of excited mamas enroute to Orange County where we’ll be spending the weekend with friends and family for two reasons: 1) to celebrate the gift of music; and 2) to honor this gift by fundraising for super typhoon Haiyan victims. It’s a humble and most heartfelt effort that started with a very different story. You can follow the story here.
In two hours, we will be landing in sunny and warm California. Buh-bye for now Toronto’s freezing weather. Buh-bye beloved kiddies, all three of them were still sleeping in their warm beds when Joy and I left home at 4:30AM this morning.
Buh-bye beloved asawa, who I missed as early as last night at the dinner table while having the sweet and sour noodles with beef and veggies. I’ll be missing you for four days and three nights, my darlings.
I am declaring the official beginning of The Work today. It is the sprouting of seeds I planted back in 2004. A full decade of many prunings and re-plantings blossoming into The Work.
It’s all about resonance. Teachers (and they come in all forms) hold up a mirror for you in just the right light, at just the right moment, and you just happen to catch YOUR reflection in it. They are strumming chords that are strung in your heart. You had it, they just tickled it. Your truth collides with their truth and you have an a-ha moment. – Danielle LaPorte
The deepest desire of your heart since Day One is alive and deserving of life and light! I had to find this through sheer grit and gnawing at false beliefs and ideas. Thing is only YOU can give your desires life. Inversely, you can let it wither and die in the cold. The muses plant the seed, then free will needs to kick in. It’s up to us to water and care for the seedling. Yes, my dear, I speak from my very own ups and downs. My downs were so bad that I had unexplainable afflictions – like itchy, crusty eczema on my thumbs, just the thumbs (I know…weird!), sore throats every other month and this low-grade fatigue I felt daily whether I had full rest or not. Living life without honoring one’s passion makes for a very blah*full (as against the bliss*full) existence.
My ‘wild ride’ began when I heard the four-letter command right there at the St. Mary’s church grounds alongside Jeanette who accompanied me. I have not gone to church for a while, make that a very long while. The clear-as-crystal command was: SING!
So I gave my three-letter word reply: YES. The see-saw, step-yes-step-no life was getting old anyways so I finally got tired of that and picked one.
Funny that, as soon as I replied in the affirmative, my Facebook friend, Ms. Gigi Borromeo offered an invitation: Come to Fullerton. I’ll help produce a show for you! We need to have a benefit show for the Marian Missionaries in SoCal. Are you in? (See how funny and punny God is? He even threw in the two Mary’s in the mix just in case I miss it again!)
There was no iffy-ness about Ms. G’s invitation. Oh, I’ve had tons of those in the past. (Something about water finding its own levels…me iffy = experiences iffy.) So, fresh from the Command order to SING just the weekend before, I said Yes! That plan however went kaput due to US work visa issues. However, it morphed into something more expansive. And if I may humbly add, evolutionary for me. You see, I received another offer. This time to help raise funds for another church, St. Norbert, in Toronto. I subsequently inquired with a lawyer, a university schoolmate, for help regarding the US visa matter. He said, “That’s bad news, Chiqui. You’re not going to risk coming into the U.S. without a valid work visa.” And as we were chatting about the recent earthquake in Bohol and Cebu (wala pang hangin ni Yolanda noon) he mentioned his fundraising event for the cause and suggested I do the same here in Toronto.
I believe that everything, in the grand scheme, happens for a good reason. We sometimes don’t see the good right away. OK, I most times don’t see the good right away. But it always flows towards that direction in the end. The very pull to this page is a sign that there’s something here for you. And for me, too.
I believe it is this connection right here, and the many others like it, that will open us up to the next chapter of our lives. I’m ready. I know you are, too.
PS: For tickets to my upcoming shows, please click on images on the upper right. Do RSVP @ https://www.facebook.com/events/227003374135206/
Courage in Creativity,
And now we’re starting over again…
Pardon the background noise. And the lack of auto-tune/ing…and the un-perfect recording quality….
“One shouldn’t make excuses.” is the rule but I can’t help myself. I’m recording at home on a Sunday. Oh, that possible pick-up of yelling laughter in the background? That’ll be the kids playing in the next room.
This song though. This song can’t wait another day.
I was with my dear friend, Justin, yesterday afternoon. I told him, “Suggest songs naman, kapatid!” I want melodies that will bring back the most special of memories when I sing them at the upcoming shows. So right there, mid-cut&color, we came up with this one.
As soon as I heard the first words, the very first verse, that “hagod” that only Natalie Cole can pull and I am but a humble cover-maker here, I knew this was special. EXTRA-special because of the words.
verse 1
and when i hold you in my arms i promise you
you’reb gonna feel the love that’s beautiful and new
this time i’ll love you even better
than i ever did before and you’ll be in my heart
forevermore..
verse 2
we were just too young to know we fell
inlove and let it go
so easy to say the words goodbye
so hard to let the feelings die
i know how much i need you now
the time is turning back somehow
as soon as our hearts and souls unite
i know for sure we’ll get the feelings right
chorus
and now we’re starting over again
it’s not the easiest thing to do
i’m feeling inside again
‘coz everytime i look at you
i know we’re starting over again
this time we’ll leave all the pain away
welcome home my lover and friend
‘coz we are starting over over again
verse 3
if we never leave alone
then we might have never known
all the time we spent apart
all we did was break each other’s heart
ohh..hooh..
and when i hold you in my arms i promise you
you’ll gonna feel the love that’s beautiful and new
this time i’ll love you even better
than i ever did before
and you’ll be in my heart forever more…
chorus 2
and now we’re starting over again
it’s not the easiest thing to do
i’m feeling inside again
‘coz everytime i look at you
i know we’re starting over again
this time we’ll leave all the pain away
welcome home my lover and friend
‘coz we are starting over over again
this time we’ll chase all the rain away
welcome home my lover and friend
‘coz we are starting over over again…
we are starting over over again..
Ready, 1-2-3-SING with me! (Unang una na si Justin Mills, my über- stylist/artist, thank you for the song suggestion!)
2013 Fundraisers
ABS-CBN Foundation International and Ms Chiqui Pineda present
Project | Boholunteers Cebuiours + Typhoon Yolanda
Max’s Restaurant
1520 Steeles Ave W, Vaughan, ON L4K 3N9, Canada
Tickets: $35 (w/ Dinner)
For tickets, Contact Jeanette Baron (416)786-3491 ; jomarie.barn@gmail.com or
Ms. Jo at Max’s Resto (289)597-9433
- 100% of your donations go to Sagip Kapamilya (Save Families), a program under the ABS-CBN Foundation International
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November 30, 2013, Saturday @6:30pm
A Christmas Concert In November
St. Norberts Catholic Church
100 Regent Road, North York, ON
Tickets: $15
For tickets, contact Becky @ 416-317-2390 or Cynthia @ 416-636-0213.
- Proceeds go to the building and maintenance fund of St. Norberts Catholic Church
Updates on Diaspora Diva SoCal show, laundry, and 2 fundraisers!
I just posted this on my FB feed a few days ago:
“Not very happy to announce that the Dance Pavilion Show in Fullerton, SoCal is a No-Go. My co-producer informed me of the work visa issues. We don’t have enough time to take care of the problem. The best solution: Postpone the event for Feb, 2014. The good news: We’re still going to California!”
Grateful for the sympathy from friends, some dear ones even emailed me privately with an “Are you okay?” message. (I love you, and You, and YOU.) They know how hard I’ve worked to make this happen. But then, all in God’s time, which we’re hoping is Feb., 2014 for this show.
When something’s not ready, no matter how hard we try to push, it just won’t budge. Unless, of course, we’re talking childbirth and mom opts for a C-section. But that’s another story… 😛
Back to the show. It’s been quite a ride. Some days, more like being inside my washing machine… on spin cycle! I was invited by a friend, Ms. Gigi Villavert, to do a fundraising event in California for the Marian Missionaries. We’ve been hard at work, and by we, I mean my co-producer, Ms. Villavert, friends here in Toronto – Joy, Justin and Bing and there’s me. We built ourselves into a frenzy of excitability only to find out that we can’t do the show. It turns out that I needed a work visa which takes a month to process and costs almost $2K to get! Thanks to a lawyer/promoter friend in LA, I got the vital information early enough. There was the alternative idea of using the “Bakasyon lang siya” line at immigration. But then, is it worth the risk? The answer is a big “No way!”, of course.
The #1 lesson learned, among the many, is this: Due diligence, do the research! This experience subsequently jumpstarted a lot of performances. Now, I have not one, not two, but three shows in the next couple of months! Magic happened. I think it’s called media attention, and this blessed idea to help and so it goes…and the rest is history.
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To Be of Help, An Invitation to Kababayans and Other Kind Hearts
I am partnering with the ABS-CBN Foundation International to raise funds for the Bohol and Cebu earthquake victims. This idea was hatched while talking to a schoolmate who is a very active community leader in the U.S. (Thank you, Adrian Lecaros! Wala kang pagbabago sa iyong serbisyo sa bayan, mabuhay ka!) So on November 22, Friday, at Max’s Restaurant & Lounge, together with other artists, we will be singing our songs to raise funds and awareness for our kababayans in Southern Philippines. It’s time to share the blessings we enjoy in the North Americas. Many of our brothers and sisters are stripped of their very basic human needs of food, clothing, shelter, medicines. Some of them living in tents! If you feel a call to help out, please leave your contact information on the comments below and I’ll get in touch with you for further details.
I am both very happy, VERY and at the same time a bit nervous, this being my first fundraising event that I’m spearheading. Basta iniisip ko na lang, tulong ‘to. This is first, to help, to be of service, and there’s no right and wrong when intentions are pure. Basic of all intentions is it makes me happy to be of service to others. Note to self: CP, you are getting old..er. And older, thankfully, equals wiser. I hope I don’t sound like a self-aggrandizing shmuck when I say that. I simply mean that as I grow older, I realize there are other things more important than my own first-world pain. Not that I am for ignoring one’s sorrows, if anything, I believe in venting and letting these hurts out and into the light. It’s the wallowing in it that I believe we need to unlearn as we grow older. I’m learning that there is great wisdom behind this: That when we feel most alone and broken, we simply need to go out and seek those that are more broken than we are. There is and always will be those more shattered than we are.
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Wash AND Dry
In other news, the laundry is up to date! 😊 Surprisingly, after doing this for 12 years and counting, I realize that even twice a week of washing clothes works – once by me and the other by hired help. As long as you dedicate the labada day – ok, not the whole day but focus, Chiqui, focus! – to washing AND drying and rally the kids to my most dreaded part of the job: folding! Agh. Just the thought of it sends the hairs at the back of my head rising. It’s when the wet laundry gets forgotten in the wash that all smelly hell breaks loose. Don’t’ forget the vinegar trick, (Salamat, Jeanette) if and when you do forget and it gets stinkypooey in there. 1/2 C white vinegar to a full load of the forgotten laundry, one cycle and this time, remember to take it out and into the dryer!
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I Invite You All, Part 2
If you’re in the area, I’d love to have you spend an evening of soft, inspiring music and celebrating early Christmas in November with us. Come help a church raise funds for their building’s maintenance. St. Norbert’s is a Roman Catholic Church in North York, ON (100 Regent Road). It’s always been a good experience, singing in and for a church. So much raised vibration, if you know what I mean. So along with Ms. Becky Cezar, head of fundraising activities and Tita Evelyn, a co-volunteer at the Kalayaan Centre, over lunch at Spoon and Fork (Yummy!) we planned out the details of the show. It’s only $15 for a ticket and the Couples For Christ Choir and Ms. Amsky Ramos Chan will be performing, too!
Here’s the poster for the event:
To reserve tickets, you can call Becky @ 416-317-2390 or Cynthia @ 416-636-0213.
As always, I thank you and give you a deep bow of gratitude for keeping me company on this creative journey…
Courage in creativity,
Singing Makes Me Happy
And sa akin lang naman talaga eh makakanta, mai-share ang mga awitin ko sa iba…yun na! Masaya na ‘ko sa karaoke-time with the klasmayts, the lunching amigas Wednesday Group, the occasional BBQ with the neighbors na mga Bisdak like me and love, ohhowtheylove to sing! 😊👍🎶💕🎶💕🎶💕
The beauty in doing what you love, I’ve learned is that when you do do it in and for itself, all good things come, like icing comes to a cake at the end of the joyful baker’s baking it. All good things come like that gentle rain after an already perfect summer’s day at the beach. All good things come like a child’s hug after your already blissful snuggle-with-a-book time with her on the couch.
I’ve always lived by Joseph Campbell’s words: Follow your bliss. There were times I’ve forgotten or got distracted by life or just downright became stubborn as a mule and didn’t listen. Those times were nothing short of depressing. Hell on earth on some days. Like pushing a boulder up a mountain. Add rain, thunder and lightining. And you’re naked.
There were a few years when I even decided to give it up, to give in to a beloved’s request. I went against my personal values – to express and share one’s gifts – and turned my faith over to her idea of keeping the peace.
What about my peace?!? I gave that up believing, at that time, that it was best for everyone. I know now never ever to do that. Turning your power over to somebody will never bring any positive results. Also, there is no such thing as “best for everyone”. There is best for yourself and what makes you whole and this, in turn, will be the best you can share with everyone.
So I’ve come around. It took years. Why? Many reasons. But the bottomline reason, to be more accurate, the bottomline excuse was always this: I’m afraid. I feared change. I feared losing control. I feared what others will say, think, do! It was the big fear of failing at it. It was the fear of making it happen.
The last one, of all the skerdy Kat moments, is the most potent of all obstacles. Because, in my mind, if it happens, if I make it, if I succeed, all my other fears will come true: Things will change. I will lose control. People will say/think/do stuff and by stuff I mean the painful stuff because that’s just the nature of beings, particularly, hate*full-beings.
What I’ve missed looking at, until now, are these precious things: Life will change. But if the Intention was and is and always be pure – as in to create joy, to share one’s gifts, to help others – the changes will absolutely be for the better.
You will lose control because you will give the control over to God/Allah/Higher Power, the best controller of all, bar none.
As for people, well, there’s not much one can do about that. Like the kids say these days, “Haters gonna hate.”
But let’s focus on the lovers and I’m not talking Eros love here. Oh, good God in heaven…Lovers, and I mean the ones who love, support, believe in you will LOVE and continue to love in a big way, bigger than you’ve ever imagined and from places you’ve never expected it to come from!
So I sing. Finally said yes to the call to SING and share this gift with others. And more recently to make it happen in a big way and by big I mean in helping others, most especially those who are desperate for help because they’ve lost the very basic human dignities that we take forgranted here in the Americas.
So I sing. To help raise funds for churches of different denominations here in Toronto and in the U.S. Nothing big, just small gatherings of folks, mainly kababayans who simply want to reminisce and remember the good old days…always a welcome experience for us in the middle years of our blessed lives…
All these while raising a family of three young human beings together with one amazing husband who loves and supports me 100%. All these while making sure I leave a legacy, the right lessons to my very impressionable kids: Be strong and stay strong. Life will not always be easy. In fact, life is quite challenging and messy and dirty. (See kitchen sink and laundry rooms.)
It would have been great if we were given a manual for graceful and problem-free parenting or the easy-peasy way of living the diaspora life or argument-and-fight-proofing your marriage. But all that is fantasy, baby. If you want fantasy, go get a fiction book by J.K. Rowling from the library.
At the end of it all, I want my children to learn this above all things: That you go and do that which you love because what you love will be good for and to you.
It will not be easy. Do not, I repeat, do NOT take shortcuts. Observe nature and see how She does it. Be the same way with your life’s loves. This is the best way. No, this is the only way. Any other way is bogus or at the very best, temporary. (See: Lotto Winners sad stories)
Singing makes me happy.
Singing is a Love and that’s why I do it. That’s why I choose to do it.
I hope and pray you stand by your Love and do it, too.
Thank you for joining me on this page today…and I hope you join me and help to continue raising funds for our disaster-stricken countrymen in Southern Philippines.
For now, I leave you with my favorite short and sweet quote from Ms Maya Angelou:
When we know better
We do better!
Here’s to knowing and doing better and better and better!
Courage in creativity,
Super Serendipity Sunday (or When It’s Time…)
The day was Friday, and just like any other morning, I woke up thinking of the following things: what to pack for the kids’ lunches, which coffee to brew, Vanhoutte’s hazel vanilla or Nescafe’s house blend, and how the heck I can overcome the daily resistance of the dreaded morning workout routine which seems to get harder and harder every year!
Oh, there’s another thing that’s been added to my morning’s running script in my head: What songs am I going to sing for my show in California in November?!?
So I went to the bathroom, but before going, I glanced at my phone’s prompts, a daily habit now, and briefly saw it: (paraphrasing)
On Twitter: It seems like the red-headed cat is alive and well. Thank you @chiquipineda for sharing…. and I thought to myself “Hmmm…Twitter. I’m hardly on there. Who could be tweeting me this early…” and then let the phone go, went on my business and didn’t think about it until later that morning when I was more awake.
It turns out, this tweet was from my favourite kick-a** teacher, Steven Pressfield’s team!
The full story is right here.
Today, another serendipitous moment hits me. Of all people that my favourite speaker of inspiration, Oprah, no less, would have in her SuperSoulSunday for today, it would be, who else, but Steven Pressfield, but of course, right? Like, can it be anybody else?!? 😀
Everything Mr SP shared in today’s show I’ve heard at least a dozen (and a hundred and two) times already. I’ve had his book, The War of Art by my bed, in my bag, and in my iPhone – yes, I got the audible version as well – for years now.
Last week, I excitedly grabbed the follow-up which is Turning Pro. I was, at first, momentarily disappointed. The book was not on my Audible.com which is my go-to source of books. I hesitated. I was going to wait until it was up. It was going to be up sooner or later. But something inside me said “Go. No more waiting, Chiqui.”
And so I did.
I got the substandard – no fancy audible techie tags (read: a bit disorganized) and more expensive version on Kindle. But I remembered this, too: When the (God) Voice says “Go.”, you go. So it’s 3x the price, so what! I put Thrifty Chiqui to sleep.
I haven’t stopped listening + reading since that day. I haven’t stopped getting nudges since that day.
This now brings me to the moment of Universal Truth that Mr. Pressfield and many other life teachers share about one’s passion, from William Hutchison Murray ~
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
I’ve been ignoring my signs for a very long time. My closest and dearest will tell you how many excuses I’ve made, how often I added all sorts of drama to the mix and frankly, it gets boring after a while. Thank YOU, to you who have listened, supported, put up with me.
And the signs are everywhere. They are always strong and super-soul*full if and when we allow it.
The KEY is exactly that: Allow it.
What signs are you noticing in your life?
What keeps popping up over and over, again and again, like a broken record CD?
And more importantly, this:
Are we paying attention yet?
And if I may have your attention for a few more…here is my very personal love offering to the world these days ~ Our California Show is a go. Nov. 15, Friday, Dance Pavilion in Fullerton, OC is a go! To reserve your tickets, you can call/viber Ms. Gigi Villavert Borromeo @ 1(714)699-6143. It’s a small venue (150-200pax) so grab your tickets now! 😊👍💃🎶
Always, above all else ~
Love and Courage in your brand of creativity,
Chiqui Pineda-Azimi
Thank you, Ms. Oprah Winfrey and Mr. Steven Pressfield for the Work you do in this world.
The Red-headed Cat (or What’s Your Life’s Metaphor)
In his book, Turning Pro, Mr. Steven Pressfield (The War of Art, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Do The Work) shares a story from his younger years about this particular cat that used to stare him down when he had his dinner at this rundown rental he used to live in.
Almost every night, as he sat by the cinderblock steps out back, this red-headed cat would come out from his side of the woods where he lived and just sit and stare at Steve, as if to give the vital message of how pathetic his life had become. At this point in his hero’s journey, Steve had come to terms with his hiding and avoiding his true calling: writing books. He knew he was making up excuses and BS ones at that. He’s been a trucker, an apple picker, a taxi driver among many other odd jobs, divorced, and was basically watching his life swirl slowly down the great metaphorical drain one miserable year at a time.
Redhead (let’s name him that for now) he recalls, would not even take the dinner scraps that he would toss out across the distance to him. “He was nobody’s pet.” and made sure he knew it. In this staring contest, Steve continues, they both who was boss. Both knew who was in control of their lives and who was not. Both knew who had the upper hand.
Redhead sat there there, staring, daring SP to do it already.
Redhead was Steve’s life metaphor. He says,
“I miss that cat. I missed him nights he didn’t show up. I miss him now.”
So, as I was making the kids’ third (and 458th) chicken/bacon sandwich for the school lunches, after frying four eggs – two sunny side, the usual for Joshim and two scrambled, Oona’s special request; as I just finished wiping down the breakfast table and by chance, glanced out the sliding glass door of my kitchen, as I looked across the crab grass and weeds growing in our backyard, I had the sweetest sight of my morning : a shock of bright red-orange against deep, dark green.
Redhead. My Redhead was right there. This time he was facing away, back towards me, and immediately I knew it was him.
And this time with a message for me: “I’m here. And I’m watching you.”
As I opened the sliding door as gently and quietly as I could, he turned his big, round head and faced me and just as he did with Steve, stared at me for a full minute unmoving as if in a dare:
I knew. At that very moment, with Steve’s words and all of the 94 chapters of the book, MY book, Turning Pro still ringing in my ears, I knew.
My own life metaphor was staring me in the face.
Like Steve, and I imagine like you, we’ve all had my very own version of “slow-swirl”. Thanfully mine hasn’t been Steve’s version of miserable. Though you know what I mean when I say there’s that empty, hollow feeling, almost like a hole in your heart from all the hiding and feeling self-doubt and shame. There were years of not singing a single song, all because I was…what? Afraid of trying again. I felt and allowed the fear to take over. I’ve had my own share of making excuses. And now…
My Redhead. He’s watching me.
Of course I took a photo:
And I didn’t wait another minute and shared it with Steve. Yes, we’re definitely on first-name basis now. 😁 His simple “That’s him!” email reply to me this morning got me sharing this with you today. And just like that I am a giddy fan all over again.
Thank you, Steve.
Thank you, Redhead.
And as always,
thank YOU for being here and keeping me company on this journey.
Here’s to YOUR life metaphors. May they come at you with the same red-orange, Red-headed intensity and make you write your own version of your Turning Pro story.
What’s your *cat*, *dog*, *life metaphor* telling you today?
😁✏️
{This post is dedicated to Steven Pressfield and all the other teachers in my life.}
With love and courage in Creativity,
Chiqui
***Update: News Flash*** | Sept. 27, Friday, Mr. Steven Pressfield and his team posts this on both his Facebook and Twitter accounts! I, of course, died and went to crazy-fan heaven. The end. 😘❤
Chiqui*Kat | Back2Basics 